Remember the part where I am doing a health blog next year? Here is what Marvin and I bought at the grocery store yesterday:
A large box of frozen taquitos
A large box of Mrs. Paul's Fish Sticks. Why do her fish stick?
A six-pack of Suzy-Qs
Grape juice (are we SEVEN?)
Rainbow-colored Twizzlers, because we support gay licorice
An avocado. Everyone needs a vegetable
A giant tub of already-shelled pistachios; we are busy executives. We don't have time for that pesky shelling
And finally? Trail mix. We are often hittin' the trails.
Seriously, we are the least-healthy eaters on the face of planet earth. And frozen taquitos are a cheat, because technically I could get my Hispanic on and cook them myself. I haven't the first clue how, but I COULD, which is our rule about what groceries we buy.
In LA, my neighbor was from Spain, and every new year's day we would make tamales. Apparently it is tradition or good luck or something. I just think it was a way to amuse Alicia, my neighbor. She would take that wet, floppy corn husk and put wet thick tamale stuff in it and roll it up in a flash. I'd be over there with husk all draping on myself, the tamale innards falling everywhere. She would literally double over with laughter. She would actually point at me and laugh.
I cannot tell you how much I miss being humiliated by her.
I also bought a blank book yesterday, for making my cousin's nursing book for Christmas. Have I thanked all of you for participating in said book? I got so much good advice; I think she will love this gift. Way better than the earrings she wanted me to make her, mainly because my earring-making skills are equalled only by my tamale-making abilities.
My mother is trying to help me by coming up with the lamest things possible for us to make her for Christmas. This is like the year she knew I was poor, so she asked for a slotted spoon. So far, she has asked that we send her our home movies and that I print out this blog. Do those sound like the most depressing Christmas gifts ever, or what? This is the woman who has saved the ornament I made in 1971 from cardboard and tin foil, so I guess she is easy to please.
Have I mentioned there are only three weeks left of this experiment?