Sunday, November 4, 2007

A "Must" Have

I found something else I want to buy, but of course I won't.

Our house smells musty to me. There is a basement, and big vents on the floor, so it is my assumption the basement kind of floats up through the vents.

Marvin Gardens doesn't smell it.

Then my car, which I just recently got back from my mother, smells musty, too. I think rain got in or something.

Marvin doesn't smell it.

So yesterday I was perusing Home Trends catalog. And in there, $20 for two, they had these bags you could hang up and musty odor is gone! I told Marvin and he said, "Get them. You can stick them up each nostril."

He thinks I am having hysterical musty-smelling episodes or something.

Does anyone else get ridiculous Home Trends catalog? My grandmother used to get it, and my father and I would pee ourselves reading it. I can tell you right off that Home "Trends" might be a little optimistic. It is more Home "Needless Things That Old Ladies Buy" catalog.

And if you think my grandmother wasn't their best customer. I recently watched a video of Grammy from 1989 and she is cooking. I do not mean that she had her own cooking show, although she could have.

Welcome to Cooking With the Woman Who Hates You if You're Not Related!

"Hi, I'm Evelyn. Get the hell out of my kitchen."

What I MEAN is, I was looking at home movies of Grammy, and on the fridge was this white disk with holes in it. I'm supposed to be cherishing the memories of my grandmother, and all I can do is think about that disk. What is it?

It was a spaghetti server from Home Trends catalog. There are different-size holes so if you want to cook two servings of spaghetti, you stick enough through that hole, or use the larger hole for six servings, etc.

Do you see what I mean? Things no one really needs, things that basically screw up the environment and cost needless dollars, and Grammy was ALL OVER THEM.

She had these fur-lined stands to put her glasses in at night, as opposed to just placing them on the nightstand like everybody else. She had an iced-tea MAKER, which of course you need, cause you couldn't be bothered to throw tea bags in a jug. No, sir.

So when she died, my father subscribed us both to that catalog. Sometimes we get on the phone and page through it together, giggling hysterically at the giant tent you climb in to get your hair cut (it catches the hair) or the five-feet-long toenail clippers.

Then what do you think happened? My father took Grammy's glasses holders and started using them for his OWN reading glasses, and he started raving about how convenient they were. Next thing you know, he sent me two from the catalog, and do you know they're kind of nice?

And now I want the de-muster.

You see? You can't run from your heritage.

10 comments:

girlymama said...

I ALWAYS smell stuff adn my husband has no idea what I'm talking about. As I'm going That! How can you not smell that? Its ALL I CAN SMELL!" He's standing there going, "What?" looking at me like I'M the crazy one.

Glad its not just me.

June Cutoff Cash said...

Girlymama,

A gas man once told me women have a stronger sense of smell, and that's why women are always calling about gas leaks. So there ya go. It's a scientific fact.

Guilty Secret said...

"Get them. You can stick them up each nostril." - ha ha, Marvin is very funny!

(I love those magazines too.)

John said...

I think they have those bags at Target, too. (Damp Rid brand. There's one in my closet. The amount of moisture they suck up is amazing.)

Megan said...

Somehow my husband "conveniently" can't smell our daughter's dirty diapers either. :)

Anonymous said...

I use those bags in closets and they really work. Think I bought them at a hardware store. Altho, sometimes I worry that there is something in them that causes cancer if you breathe it in.

Tee said...

I get Home Trends! LOL!!!! I have actually ordered under the kitchen cabinet storage thingies that actually work very well. I suppose I'll be on their mailing list for life.

I have decided ALL men don't smell anything very well. I'm constantly asking my husband if he smell something, of course, HE DOESN'T!

If you want to put something in your basement that will help with the musty smell try purchasing those mess bags you put delicate items in to wash and then fill them with regular BBQ charcoal. I've had three bags of the black charcoal hanging from the floor joists in my basement. It seems to help, but if you want something better for your closets or utility room you can buy small bags of "white rock" that can be revitalized by putting them in the sun for several hours. Then there is Damprid that will actually collect the moisture in these crystals and you eventually can pour the moisture out. You can get the white rocks at Target and the Ramprid at Wal-Mart and Lowe's.

Anonymous said...

Your going to get a lot of adds on your blog if the advertisers scan the comments.

Anonymous said...

Vanilla candles and eucalptus are supposed to chase musty smells away.

Emily said...

Isn't it crazy when you realize that the crazy old people were actually very smart after all? Or does that just mean we're getting crazy? Boxes of baking soda would work to rid your place of the musty smell, I think. Or little bowls of vinegar sitting around, which my husband would find abhorrent.