June Eats. At a RESTAURANT.

I cheated today. I had a LUNCH DATE with the woman I met at book club a few weeks back. I do not care, I mean I really do not give two flying rat's hoots or whatever, that I cheated. Girlfriend needed an activity, over here.

(And can I just tell you all HOW MUCH I enjoy your comments cheering me up? It really does help me tremendously; thank you.)

There is the one restaurant in town (there are others on the busy freeway, but they are mostly just fast food). As you may know, we only have one car now, and of course Marvin had it at work. So I had to walk, WALK, up the GIANT HILL that leads to the uptown area.

I got my crampons and my carabiners. I had my matterhorn going, and my oxygen mask...

A few times I called out, "Ricola!"

Seriously. That thing is ludicrous. It is the STEEPEST hill you have ever seen. And have I mentioned to you that there are no sidewalks? So you're walking in the road, unless a car comes, and then you have to walk in the grass, which I did, until I.....

stepped

over

a

SNAKE. A snaaaaaaaaaakkkkkke was right under my little leopard-skin flats and my VULNERABLE ankles. A SNAKE! AAAAAAAAAACCCCKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can imagine how manly I was about this. And it was just a little baby snake. But you know they are born with their venom.

I do have to tell you that a very nice person pulled over and asked if I wanted a ride uphill, and I also have to tell you this is not the first time someone has just offered me a ride. I always say no, because, hi, from LA. In my mind, you are from the Manson family. You just rode in from Spawn Ranch to creepycrawl a house. But it is a nice gesture.

When I crested that peak, after spending some time at base camp to acclimate, and I saw the restaurant, oh. I was happy. When I got there, a guy got out of his car and said, "Did I just see you walk up that whole hill, honey?" I mean, we're talking steep.

Anyway, you can imagine how pretty I was when I got there. My new friend must have thought I was having hot flashes, or that I was really turned on at seeing her or something. I had been so careful with my appearance, too. I glazed my hair (my Aunt Mary sent me that John Freida glaze for 'redheads' and I cannot recommend it enough), I had done foundation AND concealer, two kinds of eye shadow, and all of it was running down my face like I was Alice Cooper or a Dali painting or something. And we needn't discuss the hair. You know. You saw it if you were in the Western Hemisphere.

Nevertheless, we had a lovely little lunch (I had pork chops, mashed potatoes, green beans and a biscuit. Oh, and pink lemonade. Hey, I don't get out much. This is news) and after she took me to a local shop to introduce me around.

I think our husbands are basically gonna fall in love.

Oh, and she sees snakes all the time and isn't afraid. I do not understand that in a person.