Sunday, August 26, 2007

Freebird

Things we are doing that are free:

Walking. Back in Burbank, Marvin Gardens and I were the walking fools, once we started not spending. We are the same here: fools. Even though it is always 416 degrees out and my hair puffs sideways after a quarter of a mile, we have walked just everywhere.

If you go to the left out of our house, you end up on a busy highway and you'll be killed instantly, so we never go left. But if you go right, you walk a half mile into the historic uptown part of our little town. This sounds lovely, but I have failed to mention to you that you must first surmount the biggest hill you have ever seen in your life. They have Sherpas at the bottom, to help you up. They are thinking of putting in a ski lift there, seriously. Sometimes when we get to the top, Julie Andrews is up there spinning in her apron.

If we go out our door and go forward, we walk through a cute little neighborhood. There is one house that has a truck in back, and lined neatly along the sides of said truck are 750 ladders. Why? Are they ladder MAKERS? Are they firemen? Do they help people elope? These and other questions burn in my brain.

Driving. We have driven in every direction and we have seen...other small towns exactly like ours. We have also seen many cows, which I am sorry to tell you I always have to wave at and say, "Hi, cows! I love you!" They seem indifferent to my affections, perhaps knowing about my similar feelings of love for McDonald's.

We also drive to the wildlife preserve which is 10 miles away. You can drive through the whole thing, or get out and walk. We have seen many bunnies, a deer, a falcon, a scary snake, and 75,439 bugs.

Let me tell you a little secret. Marvin Gardens? When a giant bug flies by? Not so manly. He is manly in other ways. You need something rewired? Marvin is your man. Need to know anything about cars? Call Marvin Gardens. But a big bug? Marvin pretty much turns into a flappy-handed Richard Simmons.

Television. We do not have cable here. We had cable in Burbank, because it was an expense we already had, so we didn't, like, cancel cable when we started this year. Here we have six channels, and one of them is the all-weather, all-the-time channel. There is another channel that seems to just play "Reba" all the time. So our television viewing is not pretty. But we do it anyway. Last night we watched "Cops," and also "The People's Court." Please, somebody tell us that cable is a viable expense.

Books. Marvin has been busy working at his new job, but as for me, I have already read Beach Music by Pat Conroy and Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I recommend both highly. Eat, Pray, Love just totally rocks. I can't say enough about it. Makes me want to go to Bali, and I hate traveling. I am the person who says why travel when you can stay home. Go get that book.

The other thing keeping me amused is that I finally have some work, from the textbook company. And who forgot how hard it is to make yourself work when you are freelancing? There is no boss to walk by and look at you. Do you have any idea how tempting it is to stop proofreading and catch up with that Reba?

18 comments:

Tee said...

You should be saving lots of money since your move. It's bound to be cheaper living in NC than CA. Sorry, I'm not the one to say cable is a must. We haven't had cable since, probably the mid 80's. However, we do have more than six channels to watch. It's a waste of money and then all I would want to do is watch the HGTV network and I need to be up doing something productive during the day. :-) We watch a lot of PBS and very little on the major networks, well except for The Office. We have found renting movies is a better alternative, especially during the heatwave. If you haven't seen "Miss Potter" it's a great movie about the life of the lady that created the Peter Rabbit books. Now I want to read all those childrens' books, because I don't remember reading them as a child. I must have because I knew about Mopsey, Flopsey and Cottontail. I'm assuming you have a Blockbusters in your little town. Oh dear, I forgot, renting movies does cost money. Well, back to the library. Reading doesn't turn your mind to mush.

Maryann said...

Dear June,
You are hysterical! I am just now beginning to catch up on your adventures in your new country that you and Marvin have adopted. I have embraced my new country of Texas and love it here. (and let me tell you, they think they are their own country here. So you get on board or you get out!)
Anyway, my best to you and Marvin and I will continue to catch up and comment on the blog. Drop me a line sometime!

Maryann said...

Dear June,
You are hysterical! I am just now beginning to catch up on your adventures in your new country that you and Marvin have adopted. I have embraced my new country of Texas and love it here. (and let me tell you, they think they are their own country here. So you get on board or you get out!)
Anyway, my best to you and Marvin and I will continue to catch up and comment on the blog. Drop me a line sometime!

Maryann said...

June, you are hysterical. I am just now beginning to catch up on your adventures in your new country that you and Marvin have adopted. I have embraced my new country of Texas and love it here. (and let me tell you, they think they are their own country here. So you get on board or you get out!)

Anyway, my best to you and Marvin and I will continue to catch up and comment on the blog. Drop me a line sometime!

Sarah said...

We haven't had cable for two years. There is hope, it does get easier. By now, I don't really even know what I am missing. We get TV shows on DVD out at the library to satisfy our TV cravings. Right now, the husband is bound to watch all of The Wire, season 2, in a single weekend!

Lara said...

With Youtube around I don't know how anyone has time to watch TV...I'm too busy watching all the old 70's and 80's bands and wondering how in the world we thought they were cool?

tamara cosby said...

Ok...we have thought about moving about 6 times in the past year and now it is officially on our plate...our realtor comes tomorrow to tell us if our house is worth anything...our move of choice: Charlotte, NC...can't remember where you are exactly but this is the state our entire family has decided to end up moving to eventually. My parents are talking Wilmington.

Ok...if you have any info for me, send it on!!!

fully operational battle station said...

June Cutoff Cash,

We, the staff at FOBS, would like to thank you for your hilariousness. You continue to astound us with your wit. Sherpas? We just love you, keep writing.

FOBS Staff

Kelly Garret said...

I wish I could get rid of my cable, but my roommates were horrified at the prospect. So, instead of having 6 channels and nothing good to watch, we have 500 channels, and still, nothing good to watch.

Maybe you need a nice thick book like Anna Karenina or The Brothers Karmazov.

dcrmom said...

LOL. LOL. LOL.

Definitely spring for cable. Your mental health is at stake. :-)

your tv-loving pal from MA said...

As far as I'm concerned cable inCLUDING HBO is a must. I never thought so until such things as Sex in the City or Entourage came along. We are thinking of adding Showtime to the mix just so we can watch Weeds.

I'll pay for the first month if you get cable! A moving-in gift, as it were!

Anonymous said...

My 2 cents? Don't spend a dime on cable-- if you are going to spend (but wait, is that not verboten?) get Netflix-- you can get every movie in the world-- foreign films rock-- plus tv shows upon tv shows-- you get only what you want and they pay shipping to and from-- no late fees etc-- but, if no spending is still the goal-- see if your library can bring in movies and tv shows on dvd or vcr -- ours does--- larger libraries should be able to help with that-- possibly--

tv is SUCH a waste of time and money-- there's never anything on-- swear to god-- bluepoppy

Deb said...

Not only do you NEED cable, you MUST get a DVR. Can't live without it.

Misc Amy said...

I adore that you live adjacent to hills that are alive with the sound of music. You and Julie. Together at last.

As for the cable. I've never had it since I graduated college and moved away from the parental units - even when I worked in TV. But, I did get the tivo. One must be able to always catch Monty Python reruns and Nova specials!

Here in LA it's always awards season - I'll have to find some discarded For Your Consideration tapes and drop 'em in the mail!

Anonymous said...

I think TV is pretty bad too, but if you like it, I think you should get it. It is one of the essentials that will make you feel better just knowing it's there if you need it. You can't proofread all day long.

Rosie Papaya said...

Dear June,
I love me some 500 channels of TV almost as much as I love me some botox, but isn't the whole point of your year to NOT SPEND MONEY and then blog about the existential angst and/or huge savings account that you get as a result? Your struggle is inspirational and has caused me to take a close look at my relationship with money. I look forward to reading about what you do with your time without cable or netfix.
Miss you.

Anonymous said...

Karen,
I REALLY enjoyed the last article in your blog...you are funny writer. (or is a blog an article?...sorta redundant?)

My reading is part of your birthday gift....I will mail the other part of your gift when I find the really & used gift that I bought for you in LA in June. I found it in my Honda's trunk in Stevens Point when visiting Katie & Jason.

This is my first "comment" here. I'm unsure i am a Google/Bogger, Other or an Anonymous. I hate big decisions!....like deciding food at a restaurant. Give me ANYTHING please!

Your Funny Uncle Leo

Anonymous said...

Someone should tell your funny uncle Leo not to refer to you by your real name in the blog.