Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Red state, red hair

Okay, I am finally home and have no new dead bird stories, so I can now tell you how we are moving from a city of 3 million people to a town of 3,000.

Marvin Gardens got his teaching credential in December of 2005, and he started looking for teaching jobs in L.A. even before that. You know that crap about "they need teachers"? Yeah, not so much. He could not get one teaching job in the L.A. area.

You know what's annoying? When I tell people this and they say, "really?" in an incredulous way, like Marvin Gardens has been PRETENDING to interview for teaching positions for almost two years. Yes, really. It is apparently quite difficult to get a teaching job here now if you have not taught before. Go on Marvin's blog if you really want all that guff.

For a while, I have been wondering if he is a poor interview or something. But he is very smart and articulate and he looks like a normal person, so I couldn't quite decide what he must be doing wrong. Was he wearing his "I Hate Children" T-shirt to the interview?

Marvin's teaching credential also works in North Carolina, which I have been to before and liked. Marvin kept getting emails about teacher's job fairs in North Carolina so finally he went to one last week. Yes, he spent money.

He left Monday night, and Tuesday morning I was in Beverly Hills in the midst of my interminable commute to work and he called. He had already gotten a job.

So, good job, L.A. Here was a person who would have taught your kids with originality and passion. Here was a man who would have been a good role model, who would have been a permanent, positive influence on your children. Fortunately, North Carolina saw that right away.

After he secured the job, he found us a house to rent. It has hardwood floors, four bedrooms, a fireplace, two bathrooms (which we have not had since 1998) and it is set in a woodsy yard. The price? $600 a month.

That's A THOUSAND DOLLARS A MONTH less than we pay now.

So I gave a 6- to 10-week notice at my job. The other proofreader is still out herniating his disc or whatever and I want to make this as easy for them as possible. Marvin has to be in North Carolina by August 1, but if I have to stay at work until the end of August, I will.

Beyond that, I have offered to freelance for them once I get to this little town. It's 50 miles outside of Charlotte, but I do NOT want to move all the way there for another hour-long commute. I freelanced for years, and I think I can get some clients back. And my L.A. rates will take me further in a small town.

It is all very exciting and yet I am terrified. I hate change. Here, in no particular order, is a list of a few of the things I have worried about:

I will get no work and we will starve to death.

I will have to work at 7-Eleven.

I will have anaphylactic shock for the first time ever and there will not be a hospital close enough and I will fall over dead.

I will find a rattlesnake in the bathtub.

At least these are rational fears.

I think we'll be fine leaving L.A. It's not like I am clamoring to break into the movies or gee, will I miss those desert hikes. On Saturday afternoon, Renee and I went to a wedding. I left my house at 4:30, the wedding was at 6:00, and do you know we were TEN MINUTES LATE to the wedding? Fortunately no one does things on time here so the ceremony hadn't started. But almost two hours to go 27 miles? Come ON. With Renee leaving for Maui in a month and me going to a place where I will never see an automobile again, that stupid traffic was just what we needed to tell us we are doing the right thing.

Oh, and I will enclose photos from said wedding, so you can see my hair. Perhaps you are wondering what I am doing in that Being John Malkovich crawling through the window shot. Or perhaps you are wondering if they showed the wedding video on my butt, as clearly they could have. Using the wide-screen feature, too. But I do like my new red color.

That's the story. Sorry you had to wait for my bird trauma to abate before you heard it.


i'm not lisa said...

Well...I must say that I simply LOVE LOVE LOVE the red hair!!!!! It's even redder than it was in 1992 and I liked it then too. As for new teachers having difficulty finding jobs, I know EXACTLY what that is like. I searched for a job for over a year and MY OWN MOTHER called me a LIAR. She didn't believe I was job searching, interviewing and what not. I am not speaking to that woman at the present time due to her calling me names. I think the big move to NC is s great thing and you have a place to live already!!! What grade will Marvin Gardens be teaching?

June Cutoff Cash said...

Oh, sorry I'm not Remotely Lisa. He is teaching fifth grade.

Stie: My Favorite Things said...

I love the red hair - you look very cute and sassy. NC is lucky to get you guys. Your fears will be unfounded (especially that rattle snake one) and you will love it. Congrats!

Hawaiian OBrien said...

Well light me a cigarette. It sounds awesome! Imagine getting LA freelance money in a place like NC!!! You'll be rolling in tobacco leaves (which is as good as money there).

You'll make a great southern belle, June. You already got the red hair! You're halfway there...

Lisa said...

Is it wrong they I take the "I'm not Lisa" very personally. It feels like someone wants to make it very cear that they are not me, because they would hate to be me.

I am very happy for you and MG. Mr Lisa is already talking about taking a family vacation to NC to visit you.

June Cutoff Cash said...

I guess I would feel the same way, Lisa, not I'm Not Lisa. But actually I'm Not Lisa IS Lisa, just not YOU, Lisa. See?

jtcosby said...

I love the red hair...And I love Love love love love North Carolina. That is the only state my entire family has agreed to move to someday. 5th grade is one of my goals when I get my degree (the only other goal is to NOT teach kindergarten, ha!). I am curious how to find out which states allow the licensure to transfer? I am getting my degree in TN.

June Cutoff Cash said...

Funny you should say that, jtcosby. Marvin has been subbing all week for a kindergarten class and he was ready to go to sleep last night at 7 p.m. He was grateful he didn't get a job teaching them all the time.

You'll have to Google and see where else you can teach. I am sure that's how Marvin figured it out. It's how he figured everything out, I think.

Uncle Omar said...

No more spotting semi-famous or soon-to-be-famous or used-to-be-semi-famous not quite stars and starlets for you. But, they tell me that they have great barbeque in NC, though it's mostly pig-based. And $600.00/month for a house sounds like a great deal, especially if it doesn't fall down around you. Hope Marvin Gardens read the lease on that issue.

M.I. Susan Harris said...

Let's see, you've colored your hair red and you're moving from the city to a small town. If you get yourself a couple of chickens we'll have the same life.

This sounds like a great adventure. I can't wait to hear more.

Congrats to MG on the new job!

dcrmom said...

The red hair is GREAT! Wow, 50 miles out. That is small town living. I hope you like it. I love change, but I can't imagine making a move like that if you don't. The house sounds perfect!!! I hope you love it there.

Oh, and teaching jobs are HARD to come by. I tried for years and finally ended up teaching in private school.

And kindergarten was the only grade I refused to substitute teach. He'll love teaching 5th grade. That's a great age.

sabrina duncan said...

I CANNOT WAIT to visit you in NC. Because 1) I know how much you like visitors and Z) we can smoke together. Smoking is just what we'll enjoy doing! I hear that 5th graders are already smoking 10 packs a day. Or maybe that will be Marvin Gardens at the end of his workday...

Oh, and I MUST check NC off of my state list. Maybe we can get in the car and drive (since there's no traffic) to West Virginia, which is another state that I need.

Are you moving all the snowglobes?

i'm not lisa said...

I am sorry to ruffle any feathers with my "i'm not lisa" name. It comes from a song from the mid seventies. The lyrics go like this, "I'm not Leeeesah. My name is Juuuuuuulie. Lisa left you years ago (slide guitar, slide guitar, slide guitar)." In elementary school, my best friend was named Julie so we got a BIG bang out of that song. I have always wanted to name my band I'm not Lisa because really I am Lisa....and besides, I'm not Lisa my name is Julie is too long for a band name.

Emily said...

Your hair looks GREAT red, and I am tired of hearing about your chubby self when actually you are quite slim and adorable! Poo!