Tuesday, April 3, 2007

An update from the woman who looks like the time-to-make-the-donuts-guy

I was Nair-ing my mustache this morning (you guys. Seriously. I used to be somewhat cute. I do not know when I turned into a bloated German man) when I noticed our bad cat Winston was about to sneak over and smack our good cat Ruby. So I rushed over and scooped up Winston, getting Nair all down his back. I am so worried that when I get home tonight (I am blogging during lunch) that he will look like one of those hairless Sphinx cats.

Marvin Gardens has been gone since Thursday. I did not announce it here in case anyone was just dying for an opportunity to murder me up. I am not actually one of those people who is afraid when their husband is out of town. I lived by myself for a long time so I am over it. I did, however, notice this morning when I left for work that I had not actually closed the front door all the way last night, so I basically slept with the door open all night. Oops.

This is the sort of news that will give Marvin G. 40 heart attacks.

Anyway, Marvin Gardens has been in Chicago with members of his family, celebrating Passover. Do not get your knickers in a twist: we had free tickets because last May we were on our way to Seattle and I got really sick and actually GOT OFF THE PLANE as it was taking off, so we had these credits. It turned out I needed surgery for the thing I was sick with, but I didn't know that at the time. Here's a tip: if you are so sick that you have to get off a plane as it's taxiing the runway, perhaps you should seek medical advice.

The whole POINT of my story, here, is that when he gets back we will converse and see if we have saved up more money. I actually had to break into my own savings this week. We had all sorts of expenses, like the eye doctor, I had to dry clean, our car registration fee was due, crap like that.

I can wear jeans and my sparkly Pea Soup Andersen's t-shirt every day to work if I want to, but sometimes I want to look nice cause, hey, I am at work, not the waiting area of Tuffy Muffler. So that means every three months or so I have a few things that I take to the dry cleaner. This is one of those times.

So, this gives you something to live for: in the next 24 hours, we will not only know the father of Anna Nicole's baby, we will also find out if we can out more cash in savings. Try not to hyperventilate.

Later Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Wow! Fifty bucks.
Okay, so Marvin Gardens got home and we added up his savings and mine and we have... fifty more dollars. So these past two weeks we did not do so well on the not spending.

I should shut up, tho, cause we have saved almost $10,000 and it's the third of April (which is my friend Paula's birthday, who is not also known as Sabrina Duncan or anything. Paula is 72 years young today).

Oh, and one more thing. This Sunday is Easter, and who in this town is WITH ME on going to the First AME Church? My pal M.B. and I went like two Easters ago, and it is THE MOST FUN YOU HAVE EVER HAD AT CHURCH. The music BURIES any boring white person music you have experienced.

Here is the link to their website. Go play their theme song and you will be dancing in the aisles. If you have aisles wherever you are. http://www.famechurch.org/Let me know if you want to go. If you live in another town, fly in.

6 comments:

giĆ² said...

ciao da lugano (switzerland) giovanna

Anonymous said...

I think that little Winston is the good cat.

Christie said...

You truly are hilarious. I love reading your blog. Thanks for giving me a smile now and then.

June Cutoff Cash said...

First of all, thanks to Bablefish, I can say hello back at ya, gio in Switzerland!

Secondly, Ms. Garrett, Winston is a FRIENDLY cat, and quite loveable, but he is bad. He is randy and full of beans. And he beats poor Ruby whenever he can. He treats her like crap.

And third of all, thank you, stie, for thinking I am funny. I like that in a person...

Anonymous said...

Given my current state (having an ear infection that will not respond to any antibiotics) it's a wonder I made it to my 72nd bday.

I think Kelly should go to the church considering that these are her people. Kelly will be movin' and groovin' with the best of them!

Anonymous said...

They don't call me Go-Go Garrett for nothing. I'll think about church. It is a looooooooong service, though.