Thursday, April 5, 2007

Ten THOUSAND bucks

So, I get paid tomorrow, and I know that I will be able to put AT LEAST enough in savings to get us officially up to $10,000. (Who feels like Jerry Lewis during the telethon? "SHOW ME TEN THOUSAND! OH YEAH!" What the world needs now, is love sweet love...)

We have saved $10,000 in 95 days.

I know, I know, what on earth were we spending our money on before this venture? Was I purchasing gold bouillon without knowing it? I doubt it, cause I am not much of a soup person.

In other news, Marvin Gardens took a photo of this sign today.
Please look at the word after "CLOSED." Now, what now? What were they even TRYING to say? And WHOOOO was in charge of writing said sign? Who PROOFREAD said sign?

Impermedipaly. It is my new favorite word.

Also, I have been giving some thought to my funeral. Oh, get the stick out of your craw. We're all going to die, you know. Why do we all have to act like it'll never happen? And my theory is, it's the last time you all have to attend a party in which I will be an attendee. I already had my wedding. So this is the last big event I get. Why leave it up to my loved ones, who will be FLOORED with GRIEF to lose a fine specimen of a gal such as myself, to plan?

I just asked Marvin Gardens if what I'm typing about is going to freak people out, and he said, "How am I throwing you a funeral if we can't spend any money?" He has decided to make me a casket out of FedEx boxes if I should die this year.

AS I WAS SAYING, I already know I want pink flowers. Pink pink pink. Pale pink. And some really tasteless Hello Kitty sort of thing going on. Like, maybe a giant Hello Kitty-shaped floral arrangement? I don't know. I haven't formulated that part.

But I have a friend who attended a funeral in which the deceased, before he died, insisted that at the end of the service, all the chairs were to be pushed away and everybody had to get up and dance. Well, I like this idea. I am just saying, when I die, you don't HAVE to dance, but there will be a dance portion of the evening. You can watch others dance if you want, and not to make you feel guilty or anything, but I did love to dance more than anything in the world, so...

But my big dilemma is what song am I going to make everyone dance to? Today on my 72-hour commute to work, I heard Age of Consent by New Order. Now that is a good song. Here...

So do you guys want to dance to that song?


i'm not lisa said...

Sure... I'll dance to that song! I always said at my funeral I want Just Like Heaven by The Cure played....and I want sunflowers all over the place.

Kelly Garrett said...

The word they meant to use on the sign was "intermittently." Obviously, the person who made the sign was more of a "from time to time" type and should have stuck to that level of communication. I am more "sporadic" myself.

HR Puffenstuff said...

I'm going with "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds at mine. I like how it's both of uplifting and threatening at the same time. I would like it played impermedipaly throughout the service.

karen said...

Hello there!

I followed a link in the gnasher's journal and read your blog in it's entirety. Captivating stuff. Good going to you and MG. It has made me look at how I spend money and I don't know how you do it. I can't even fathom not waxing my eyebrows.

In any case, you talked about death and I just happen to be in the death business. I have yet to direct a funeral where people dance but that would be the coolest funeral ever! In faccccttttt, I have already started making "Funeral Favorites Vol. 1" and plan on making a volume for any sort of funeral you could think up. Personally, I've decided on Bone Thug's "Crossroads" and possibly William Shatner's "You'll Have Time".

I'll go back to reading your blog in silence now.

sabrina duncan said...

I'll make sure your flowers are blush and bashful. That sanctuary will look like it's been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol.

noneemac said...

Didn't the singer even know the words to his own song? He keeps looking at the teleprompter between verses.

Or is it just all the X?