Thursday, December 6, 2007

You don't like coconuts? Say brainless...

Oh, I stomped home from my church job in a huff today. A HUFF, I tell you. I have an old boyfriend who once said of me, "She left in a huff, her favorite mode of transportation."

Truthfully, that was his shining moment, right there. Other than that he kind of sucked.

Anyway, I am just saying. This is the LEAST straightforward job in the history of time. JUST when I think I have learned everything, somebody calls me all in a lather because I should have done something I NEVER KNEW I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO.

I feel like a useless idiot.

So I came home mad. MAD, I say. Mad and pouty. That kind of pouty where you just want to get in your car and drive until you see the ocean and, God willing, an oceanside bar. Instead, I opened my mail. And do you know I got the nursing home newsletter?

As some of you may know, I volunteer at the nursing home here because (a) it is free and (b) I really can't help it. I love that ding-dang nursing home. Sometimes when I am walking in, I see the lights on in the window of the activities room, and I can't wait to get in there and see what eveybody's working on. Am I the only person who actually loves nursing homes? I mean, the people at this one are in pretty good shape, so I find it the opposite of depressing.

And the nursing home newsletter. Oh, I want to edit it so bad. But I offered once and the person who wrote it said it was her thing and to keep my mitts off it, so Miss Have to Get All Up in Everything over here is leaving it alone. But the good news is, I noticed it was Miss T's birthday.

Miss T is one of my favoritest women there. We met because she was wearing a leopard-print nylon suit, and I do love me some leopard print. Turns out, she and I could talk for about 720 years and never get bored with each other. You know how that goes with some people.

So, you guys? I bought her a plant. And a little pot to put it in. The whole thing was $10. I only have three and a half more weeks of not spending and I screwed up now. But whatever. I wanted to get her a little something.

I got to her door, and was it decked out for Christmas at all? Holy mother of pearl, the whole DOOR was red and shiny and festive! When she saw me she squealed and clapped her hands. You would have thought that $10 plant was the Hope diamond. We sat and talked for the longest time, and she apologized for her door. Her whole room was like I was in Santa's workshop or something. Sister gets into the spirit. I told her not to apologize at all, that as soon as I saw her door, I felt all holiday-y.

And you know I did? I forgot about how angry and weepy I had just been 20 minutes before. All it took was a $10 plant. (It was a varigated philodendron, if you must know.)

Then I had to go, cause Miss Lilly was waiting for me. Miss T walked me to the door, and said, "Thank you for the plant, but thank you more for your friendship. It means so much to me." Then she hugged me for a really long time.

So basically I am glad I cheated today. Maybe I should be secretary at the nursing home.


Michelle Dawn said...

I've been reading your blog and catching up on old entries from work (between actually doing work) and I think you've done pretty darn good. I'm very impressed! As for the minor slip today -that was definitely a worthy cheat :)

June Cutoff Cash said...

Thanks Michelle Dawn! I love that picture! It occurs to me that my last two cheats have been at that nursing home. I hardly think it counts like, say, a facial would.

Tee said...

Do they have an opening? It takes a SPECIAL person to go to the nursing home like that and minister to those elderly folks. I can't do it--I end up in tears and that's not good. As for the slip up, I think that was a wonderful gesture to remember Miss T's birthday, well worth the "cheating". I thought about you today, I was blowing leaves and acorns off the patio and driveway. Now I need to get the lawn mower out and chop those leaves up and blow them off the lawn. :-)

RipeMango said...

I so badly want to dig leopard print,I even bought a cute shrug once, but I can't, I just can't. It just reminds me my mom in the 80's, when she was entirely too sexy to be my mom. But I guess that wasn't really the point of your post, was it?

Well, I'm glad you made this woman feel so special :)

Kellie said...


Miss T's closing line has me weepy.

And isn't that the truth? The best lesson learned in this whole amazing year? Money cannot buy what you have given Miss T.

You may have not been able to spend cash this year, but you have really invested in the lives of others, which is WAY more valuable! I'm proud of you!


June Cutoff Cash said...

First of all, I love the name ripemango. You should meet my friend Rosie Papaya! Also, the
'80s were my fashion queen time. So naturally I am drawn to the leopard. Once I was waitressing (in the '80s) and this old woman had leopard print cateye glasses and I have wanted them ever since. She said, "Well, honey, I got these in 1963!" Thought I was berserk.

Stie: My Favorite Things said...

June, you are a saint. You make me want to be a better person.

June Cutoff Cash said...

Dear stie,

That sound you hear is the ass falling off of every person who knows me. A saint. Hah! They're laughing.

But it is kind of you to say. Little figurines of me for your dashboard coming soon.

dcrmom said...

Awww, FUN! You're awesome.

Lara said...

Oh I so want a June Cutoff Cash dashboard figuine!

June Cutoff Cash said...


I know, right? I would so invent one if it wouldn't offend, you know, everybody. Maybe I'll just make one for you and me, and hope my boss the minister never, ever looks at my dashboard.