Wednesday, December 26, 2007

I want to spend Christmas in Elmira with my family.

Remember Christmas 2005, when my cat sprayed blood on the VCR and I spent the holiday at the emergency vet? Remember Christmas 2006, which I spent completely alone, opening gifts by myself, having dinner alone?

Welcome to Christmas 2007, or as I like to call it, Sniffmas.

Who got sick right on Christmas Eve? I was feeling fine one minute -- my stepfather and mother got here, we took them on a drive through the town, which took seven minutes, and all of a sudden I started feeling a tad ...sniffy.

By midnight mass, you talk about away in a manger. That's where the congregation wished I'd go. You can imagine how happy everyone was to shake my hand and say, "Peace be with you." I got a lot of waves across the room. A whole bunch of those "Hey!" with the pointing of the thumb and forefinger.

Today was less Boxing Day and more Box of Tissues Day. It has been one of those colds where you must have Kleenex six inches from you at all times or it will not be pretty. Thank goodness I got some nice new sock monkey pajamas, and a new robe, because I got out of my old pajamas and wore those all day yesterday. I even wore them in the car, when we took a drive to look at Christmas lights. I figured there was little chance we'd run into Jude Law and I was right.

The good news is that Marvin Gardens found the DVD Arthur in the attic, which is one of my favorite movies, and wrapped it and gave it to me and I had NO IDEA it wasn't new, or that we already owned it. I was too ill to notice the whole lack of cellophane. I never would have known had my mother not spilled the beans, which Marvin was thrilled with her about.

As for me, I had decided that for Marvin, I would take a really cute picture of his grandfather playing with the family dog and frame that for his gift. I couldn't tell you about it before now, because I force Marvin to read this blog whenever I post.

At any rate, I had discovered the photo when we were at Marvin's parents' house at Thanksgiving, and had sneaked it into a book to take back. So, when it came time to UNsneak said photo out of the book, who suddenly had no photo?

Oh, did I turn this house upside down. I was panicked, I tell you. Not only would I have no good, relatively inexpensive gift for Marvin, but I would also have LOST a nice picture of his GRANDFATHER.

Finally I located it, in Marvin's desk. I have no idea why it was there. I had hidden the picture in a 1970s modeling book. Why had Marvin been perusing THAT, I ask you? Is he secretly Halston?

Well, anyway, I don't know what I was thinking. Where around here did I think I'd find a cool little frame? John Deere does not carry cool little frames. And the ones at Wal-Mart were inexplicably bad.

So Marvin did not get a framed photo, but rather the very story I told you above, except with my cold voice. "Marben, I tried to frabe you a photo ob your grandfaber..."

That was my holiday. Please now tell me about yours. My Puffs and I are eager to hear all.


SustainableStyle said...

OMG, I'm not the only one! I spiked a 104 fever an hour before I was set to host a dinner for 12. Good times, good times... At least now I get to lay in bed and catch up on favorite blogs. Feel better!

Tee said...

Oh you poor darling. So sorry you are feeling a bit under the weather. It could be the real Christmas tree you have in your house. I used to get sick every.single.Christmas, until I discovered I was allergic to that real tree inside, not to mention the time I cut the cornia of my eye when I leaned over to plug the tree in and the branch was right there. Made for a few painful days. Just drink lots of hot liquids.

dcrmom said...

LOL!! I'm so sorry you got sick. Misery. We had a very nice Christmas. This was one of my best ones ever, I guess you can read about my surprise ring on The Blawg. And I can't overlook the boots that I was Oh-So-Excited about before I saw the ring inside the second one.

And my mom got me an amazing pair of Seven For All Mankind trouser jeans. They make my butt look like it has never looked before. It's a feat of miraculous proportions, I tell ya. Plus she got me a pair of cute flats (shoes) I really wanted and a chenille throw for the couch.

The kids fared pretty well although I think C is going to get an American Girl doll in the mail this week. My mom, who is crazier than I, feels like she "messed up" b/c C wasn't that excited about her Christmas and was talking about this Julie doll on Christmas Eve and at her school party on Friday. I'm going to try to convince her to wait until Valentines Day though.

So that's about it! D and R had a great day. As did Paul. I didn't get him anything too great (we weren't supposed to, despite what he did for me) but my mom got him a power tool, so he's happy. :-)

dcrmom said...

I just typed a mega-comment, and it UNpeared. I'm so annoyed.

June Cutoff Cash said...

You know, Tee, I wondered the same thing. Could I really be this sick from it? I also have a rash on my neck, which makes me agree with you.

Frankie said...

That totally sucks, June!

I think I am getting sick now, too. Damn people all up in my face, having the nerve to breathe and shit!

I hope you're feeling better.

Anonymous said...


Sorry about your sniffles. The bean had some sniffles too....and a very large case of the BRATS! No. I don't mean those scantily clothed dolls. Wow. She was a brat. Terrible twos my eye.... how about those terrible sixes!

Sock monkey pajamas???!!!! I got some too!!!!

And to dcrmom.... isn't that Julie doll a limited addition??? If so, it's good C is getting her before she isn't available anymore. I just love those American dolls.