Remember Christmas 2005, when my cat sprayed blood on the VCR and I spent the holiday at the emergency vet? Remember Christmas 2006, which I spent completely alone, opening gifts by myself, having dinner alone?
Welcome to Christmas 2007, or as I like to call it, Sniffmas.
Who got sick right on Christmas Eve? I was feeling fine one minute -- my stepfather and mother got here, we took them on a drive through the town, which took seven minutes, and all of a sudden I started feeling a tad ...sniffy.
By midnight mass, you talk about away in a manger. That's where the congregation wished I'd go. You can imagine how happy everyone was to shake my hand and say, "Peace be with you." I got a lot of waves across the room. A whole bunch of those "Hey!" with the pointing of the thumb and forefinger.
Today was less Boxing Day and more Box of Tissues Day. It has been one of those colds where you must have Kleenex six inches from you at all times or it will not be pretty. Thank goodness I got some nice new sock monkey pajamas, and a new robe, because I got out of my old pajamas and wore those all day yesterday. I even wore them in the car, when we took a drive to look at Christmas lights. I figured there was little chance we'd run into Jude Law and I was right.
The good news is that Marvin Gardens found the DVD Arthur in the attic, which is one of my favorite movies, and wrapped it and gave it to me and I had NO IDEA it wasn't new, or that we already owned it. I was too ill to notice the whole lack of cellophane. I never would have known had my mother not spilled the beans, which Marvin was thrilled with her about.
As for me, I had decided that for Marvin, I would take a really cute picture of his grandfather playing with the family dog and frame that for his gift. I couldn't tell you about it before now, because I force Marvin to read this blog whenever I post.
At any rate, I had discovered the photo when we were at Marvin's parents' house at Thanksgiving, and had sneaked it into a book to take back. So, when it came time to UNsneak said photo out of the book, who suddenly had no photo?
Oh, did I turn this house upside down. I was panicked, I tell you. Not only would I have no good, relatively inexpensive gift for Marvin, but I would also have LOST a nice picture of his GRANDFATHER.
Finally I located it, in Marvin's desk. I have no idea why it was there. I had hidden the picture in a 1970s modeling book. Why had Marvin been perusing THAT, I ask you? Is he secretly Halston?
Well, anyway, I don't know what I was thinking. Where around here did I think I'd find a cool little frame? John Deere does not carry cool little frames. And the ones at Wal-Mart were inexplicably bad.
So Marvin did not get a framed photo, but rather the very story I told you above, except with my cold voice. "Marben, I tried to frabe you a photo ob your grandfaber..."
That was my holiday. Please now tell me about yours. My Puffs and I are eager to hear all.