Sunday, July 8, 2007

Cemeteries are a girl's best friend

You know what? Moving sucks! I think I am the first person to realize that.

The only good thing I can tell you is that there are a lot of stores around here with moving boxes at the ready, including Baskin-Robbins. Sadly, those boxes just make me hungry. They are maraschino cherry boxes, waffle cone boxes, nut boxes...Mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm MMM!

At one of my old jobs, there was this old lady who was in love with me. I am not making this up. She was obsessed with my wardrobe; every day she'd compliment something.

"Only you could wear that color" "Oh! I love those pants!" and she would punctuate each compliment with "Mmmm!"

"Mmmm! That bra fits you nicely! MMM!" (No, seriously, she really said that. She was this 75-year-old grandmother. I have no idea why she loved me. Some mornings Marvin Gardens and I would guess what thing she would compliment that day.)

(Am I mean-spirited? Perhaps she just really liked my clothes. But no, I have to go there and make it all lusty.)

Anyway, I wanted to tell you that we found a free thing to do yesterday. We went to the cemetery! I love me the cemetery, I always have. My Aunt Mary used to take me to the mausoleum for fun, an activity that baffled and repulsed my grandmother. But I loved it! There was one guy who had died on Valentine's Day. This fascinated me. I had no idea you could die on a holiday.

Also, I recently found out that my great-grandmother liked her the cemetery, too. So it's genetic.

And here, the cemeteries are full of movie stars, which is oftentimes a surprise. I have gone to cemeteries asking, for example, "Can you tell me where to find Andy Gibb's grave?" and they get all huffy and tell me this is not a tourist attraction, but rather a place of rest. Oh, calm down. So often you have to find the tombstones by accident.

Here is Marilyn Monroe's grave. Every time I have gone to MM's grave, someone has kissed it with their lipstick, which really can't be sanitary. There are also always fresh flowers there, which I know used to come from Joe DiMaggio, but not anymore. Next to her place in the wall is an empty place, which I have heard Hugh Hefner is going when he dies.

This is not a movie star, I was just fascinated by the fact that she still gave palm readings. And so cheap! This is a photo taken with my cell phone, so I apologize that it is the size of a postage stamp

I was thrilled to find Rodney Dangerfield's marker, which reads, "There goes the neighborhood." Oh, he is a funny one.

And finally, my favorite of all the celebrity stones I saw yesterday, Jack Lemmon's, where he just has "Jack Lemmon... in..." Whoo! Get it? He's not in anything! Just the ground! Oh, I thought that was hilarious.

The other morbid thing we did for free yesterday was go to Benedict Canyon, down the street where the Manson murders were. Neither one of us knew the address of the house, only the street, so we THINK we saw the house, but I was getting carsick from the twisty, windy roads up there so we left without being sure.

"Mmmm! Only you could turn green that way! Your carsickness looks great! MMMMM!"


dcrmom said...

Now, that's what I call desperate for entertainment. ;-)

Stie: My Favorite Things said...

Oh, that is too funny. Every girl's self esteem needs a boost - even if it's from old lady stalkers!

P.S. I hate moving, too.

sabrina duncan said...

Are you talking about Smithers? Or is there ANOTHER old lady obsessed with you? DEAR GOD. I hope it's just Smithers because the thought of two Smithers is just too much to bear. For your FYI.

shannon said...

i was talking about cemeteries the other day with my sisters. lovely places, esp the old ones. cemeteries in other countries (japan, france, britain, eygypt) are really cool too.

i think you can tell a lot about a country by its hospitals and cemeteries.

speaking of stalkers, i would stalk lmmontgomery (the anne of green gables -- among many others -- author) if she were still alive, and she loved cemeteries too.

Anonymous said...

c'mon. Moving is great fun! But, granted, not as much fun as knowing that a nice 75 year old lady is in love you, and certainly no where near as fun as checking out the graves! Did you find Andy Gibbs' grave? Oh, I was sooo in love with him in 1978.

June Cutoff Cash said...

I have indeed seen Andy Gibb' s grave. He in in Forest Lawn, which is very near my house. I had to find it all on my own (with a litle help from

Kellie said...

I didn't even know that Andy Gibb was dead.

Anonymous said...

I so remember realizing that you could die on a Holiday. Horrible realization.

These gravestones were AWESOME! Excellent picture post, I loved this. But I'm morbid like that.



Bronwyn said...

Poor Andy. I had not heard of findagrave, I'll have to look it up. Thanks! Oh, and I have relatives in NC, I'll be very interested to see how you like it. Good luck with the move. When is the actual moving day?

June Cutoff Cash said...

Dear Bronwyn,

My last day of work is July 31st, and we leave August first. Relaxing!

emilyhope said...

At least you are guarantied at least one compliment a day. There is a girl that works with me that always says, "Oh, I have a shirt just like that." "Oh, I have a pair of shoes just like those." I never see her wear these items. Now she is into doing things I do, going to Victoria's Secret and getting measured for a bra, wearing the same make up I buy for my teenagers, taking her son to the photography playce my girls go to and wanting to know how much I spend. Lord, it drives me insane.

June Cutoff Cash said...

Yeah, that's creepy. Maybe she just WISHES she had your stuff, which is still creepy. Ick!

Jenene said...

I think it was my grandpa's grave that you saw, because he died on Valentine's Day. (Except his grave is actually way up here in Canada).

And before you start feeling really bad, he died 21 years ago, and I'm 22. I feel bad for my grandma though. All these years without her husband! We have a family gathering kind of for her every year.

And I know that this blog is SO last year, but I only discovered you a few days ago (through dcrmom), and you're so funny, so I have to read it all!