There is such a thing as a free lunch

Today Marvin Gardens and I let two different people buy us lunch, a habit I do not wish to continue. This year is about going a year without spending, not a year of mooching.

I know people can afford it, and they want to do it, blah blah blah. But for me, it's hard enough not buying gifts for people, much less letting them feed me. (I have already had two birthdays in which a notecard from my stationery and some roses from my garden had to be gift enough. This is killing me. But people have been very gracious thus far.)

Anyway, Marvin is having lunch with his friend/old roommate/brother-in-law, who I will cleverly refer to as Bill. Bill and Marvin Gardens went to college together and then they both moved to our current town and shared an apartment for like seven years, until I came and tore up their happy home. (Marvin G. and I moved to the apartment next door.)

Eventually, Bill met my stepsister, who I will call Una (which will make her really happy), and he married her. So now one of Marvin's oldest friends is also a relative, which is kind of cool.

As for me, I had lunch with two old friends from our last neighborhood. For six years, Marvin Gardens and I lived in this great duplex in a cool neighborhood, which I will cleverly refer to as Silverlake. During the time we lived in Silverlake, I worked from home, and as a result got all up in my neighbors' business and made many good friends. So I traipsed back there today to have lunch with Alicia and Georgia, who both don't care if I use their real names.

Georgia is one of those older people who everyone wants to be like. She has this really hip cap of short gray hair, she wears magenta lipstick and she is as fit as a fiddle. She refuses to say how old she is, and I figure she is at least 60 and not 90, but other than that I cannot tell. She works out, she has a million friends, she dresses all trendy -- she is hot. And most important, Georgia is a great audience.

There are many traits I like in people: I love other animal lovers; people who are working to improve themselves; those who are open-minded, who realize that just because they live one way, it doesn't mean those who don't follow suit are weird or wrong. But really, the trait that will always make me like you is, let's face it, the good audience member. The person who laughs uproariously at every thing I say, even the tasteless stuff. Really, what is better?

Well, Georgia is surely that person. And because she insisted, I let her buy me lunch.

But I am telling you now that Marvin and I really have to curtail this behavior. It is unseemly.