I had to share this with the world at large.
My father is on a road trip, driving the coast from Los Angeles to Seattle. He has had his top down, and remembered to wear sunscreen after the first day when, in his words, he looked like the bottom of a thermometer.
Anyway, yesterday he went into a little place for lunch. A woman sat down at the counter near him. She said to the waiter, "I don't know what I want to drink. I'm looking for something hot and alcoholic."
My father yelled, "Hey! Sitting right here next to ya!"
In case you thought he might have, he did not succeed in picking her up.