Tuesday, November 13, 2007

And tomorrow? We'll talk about my bad work wardrobe.

Someone STOLE the rector's laptop!

In case you are just tuning in, I work as a secretary at a church in the world's smallest town. You would think crimes like this would not happen.

I mean, sERiously! And you want to know what's even scarier? The only people in the church last night were the Girl Scouts!

Now, is there a badge for stealing computers? From a man of the cloth?

And guess what else? Turns out rectors swear too.

Anyway, that was my drama for today. I am sure the police probably think it was me, as I am new there and have a key. And hey, do you like this new laptop I'm typing on? I just happened to get it yesterday!

No, no.

So, getting back to the topic at hand, which is, as always, my hair. If I decide to grow out the gray I have a few choices here. One of them is NOT to look the way I look now. I look like a red velvet cake with a cream center. The stripe of white at the roots is silly.

Here are my options:
(1) Get a large headband and wear that to hide the roots. And by "get" I mean "buy."
(2) Get my hair cut. Which costs.

So which thing do I do?

I wish they had a special island for people who have to get through awkward hair times. You could stay for six months or a year, and everyone would be understanding of everyone else's hair weirdness. It'd be perfect. Why doesn't someone invent this? You could go to grow out the gray, or if you were growing your hair back after chemo or even a bad haircut. Or if your extensions weren't working, Britney. Or what if you got a really bad perm, self in 1988?

It could be called Bushy Gardens. Or Scandals. Hairwaii? The Isle of Wight Hair?

Please send help.


Bronwyn said...

I'm howling here!!!!

I think we'd need pictures to make an accurate judgment. How short were you thinking? Either way is awkward,I agree. I love the idea of the island, and you've nailed the names. Although Bushy Gardens could have some alternate meaning. Anyway, I'd go to the island, just because. I don't think I ever love my hair. I just put up with it.

Kelly Garrett said...

The computer theft sounds like a job for the angels. I'm surprised your minister has not called Charlie yet.

Kellie said...

OK, Two things:

First, don't do anything drastic with your hair until you can spend more money that what it takes to buy a box of hair color. I am worried about your mood in the last several posts (do I SOUND like your mother?)...you sound a little on the edge. I think wearing a head band will make you feel sad after a few days and cutting your hair (short I assume) to allow the gray to be prominent might make you jump over...

I say (since i know you are just DYING for my opinion), color your hair one last time to get you through the holidays feeling good. Then, when you can spend a little dinero, go to a professional and talk about getting your hair color stripped and allowing the gray to be "professionally" happy.

I feel your hair angst, I like good hair. I would join you on that island, but only if you included those times in between waxing slightly facial hair. You know how it goes, you have a week to go before your appointment, so if you pluck you will have strays two days after the wax....But if you walk around for a week with the Unibrow and moustache, you start to feel a little bit like the circus might call you at any moment and ask you to join. It's during that week that I would like to be part of the "Awkward Hair Retreat Center"

Second, When clergy swear, it totally gets your attention doesn't it? You have given me excellent blog material about the religion teacher and priest at my high school that put a lock on his fridge to keep kids from stealing his beer, and he used to cuss often...I'll post about him tomorrow!


Anonymous said...

What is a rector?

June Cutoff Cash said...


You may be right.


Look it up.


Stie: My Favorite Things said...

I agree with Kellie. Do not go all-manic-hair on us right now. Not when you are so close to the end of the spending moratorium. Plus, you are WAY TOO YOUNG to be one of those ladies proudly going grey. Talk to me when you're 80 and I'll allow it. But not a smidge before then.

Second - who would steal from a church? I mean, even if you don't believe in that particular god, that's just tempting karma, in my opinion. It's like stealing from a charity. W-R-O-N-G. Sad, sad, sad.

And third, you still make me laugh. So thanks.

Don't cut your hair.

I mean it.

Charlie said...

Haircut - hairband is a bad bad idea.

cpwoman55 said...

You only have a month and a half to
go, don't do anything you'll be sorry for. You could be like me I
have hair growing on my face. Can you say HOT WAX.

The Hotfessional said...

When did I get mine dyed?
October 15th

I have 1/4" of gray in the part and am counting the days until 11/26.

I won't go back to gray before I'm 60.

Anonymous said...

Although I love the proposed name of your islands, do you not watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? The island of Misfit Toys is for you.
I vote for the gray, although the headband scares me.

sabrina duncan said...

This DOES sound like a job for the angels.

So, maybe there could be a house, you know, like when pregnant girls had to go away - only this would be for people with hair that must be hidden.