Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Hanging with the shorties is free. Wait. Are shorties little kids?

It is 11:21 at night, and just Francis and I are up. Francis is on the guest bed, sitting like a man with his legs out in front of him, all bent over his 21-pound stomach, having a bath. I am in my robe, having never gotten dressed today, drinking a Hi-C Grabbin' Grape juice box.

Perhaps you wonder why a childless couple in their 40s would have Hi-C juice boxes. I'll tell you why. They're good.

One of our rules for not spending this year was if we bought juice at the store, it had to be 100% juice. Upon reading this box, I see that we have completely broken this rule with a TEN PERCENT juice. Man.

And why does grape juice have pear juice in it?

Anyway, I wanted to tell you what I did today, so that I am more obligated to follow through.

As you know, I have been blue. (Did you enjoy my special effect, there? Wooo! George Lucas called. He wants his skills back.)

My Aunt Kathy is blue, as well. A year ago, she and her husband (aka my Uncle Bill, but not the guy from Family Affair) moved to Vermont. She is retired and doesn't know anyone there and basically we are in similar boats. Blue, blue boats. So we like to call each other and kvetch.

But she came up with a really good idea. She said she was going to call a nursing home in her town and ask if anyone there needed a visitor.

So today I got the hymnal-sized phone book for this little town (the yellow and the white pages are both in one book. It is small. Rhode Island could kick the crap out of it in a war. We're talking small.) (that is from Arthur, the funniest movie in the history of time) and looked up nursing homes.

Then I went on line and figured out the difference between nursing homes and assisted living facilities. Then I decided which place I could fairly easily walk to. Then I split the atom and read War and Peace and finally, I called Meadowview Terrace and talked to the fastest-talking director of activities you have ever talked to in your life. She was practically an auctioneer. Rhode Island could kick the crap out of her in a war. No, no.

Anyway, I am proud to tell you that (a) I understood most of what she said and (2) I told her I would pay a visit as soon as I could. She said a lot of people need visitors there, and that she would introduce me around until I had chemistry with someone. She said she could just assign me to a person, but instead she'd leave it up to God.

How much did I love the auctioneer activities director?

Anyway, of all the luck it looks like my old workplace FINALLY sent me work (they, um, forgot to actually attach the job), so if it is all due tomorrow or something, I won't be able to get to old Meadowview Terrace (which, by the way, has neither a view of a meadow or a terrace, I think).

But do not let me go until Friday without getting over there, you hear?


Tee said...

A fast talker in NC?!! They MUST be a transplant. Do follow through on visiting the nursing home. There are sooo many people in places like that who NEVER have visitors. We saw that when my husband's Mom was in one here in GA.

Lisa said...

Shorties are actually ladies.

Anonymous said...

I'm so proud of you! And I haven't done a thing yet, except finally buy paint for our bedroom and baths! I'm going to the chiropractor in a little bit, but I'm going to look up the nursing home or vet's place before I go. You have inspired me!

Anonymous said...

I don't know if you remember me .. I met you at Renee's baby shower .. the only Aussie there! :o)

I know what it's like to be transplanted with no friends or work to help fill your time. Volunteering at the local hospital was my salvation. Us girls need other girls to talk to because men just don't do it as good. I hope you find a special someone at the nursing home.

dcrmom said...

Good for you! Now there's an idea.

You ought to find people your age, though. Can you join a book club at the library or... or... what does one do to make friends when they don't have a church? Hey, maybe you should join a church! :-)

Seriously, though, not that it's the reason we go to church, but it's always an automatic group of friends. At least it has been for me.

June Cutoff Cash said...

I DO remember you, Aussie anonymous! We talked about the Bee Gees. How on earth did you find this blog?

I have thought about people who move all the way to a new country, such as yourself. Must be even worse!!

Anonymous said...

Ha I would love to be able to tell you a long interesting and detailed story about how I was searching .. high and low .. and stumbled upon your blog and was captivated the moment I read your thoughts .. but nah .. I followed the link from Dan's blog .. the bit about being captivated by your thoughts was true though .. I just have never felt the urge to leave a message .. until today! :o)

Sure was hard to begin again .. the only person I knew in Los Angeles .. nope California .. nope USA .. nope the whole northern hemisphere .. ok ok I know .. you get it .. was Stan. Sure was an interesting period of my life. I could tell you some stories! :o)

sabrina duncan said...

Ok, 1: Kelly has a gift for you. I hope she sends it in this lifetime.
and B: WHY don't you come here and visit my DAD and take him to THE KEG? HELLO DAD! Let's go to THE KEG. YES, MARTHA IS WORKING TODAY.

I don't understand why you are not here yelling at my dad. You could bring him an etch-a-sketch (I know you have one) or something to communicate on.

Frankie said...

Yeah, so water shot out of my nose when I read this post. You are a scream.