Big Love for the HBO

Who watched 13 episodes of "Big Love" in the last five days? Why can't I have that kind of drive when it comes to exercise or curing diseases or something?

I know spending $13 on HBO was cheating, but it was the best $13 I have spent so far this year. When I finally deigned to watch network TV at some point this week -- and I am not making this up -- I looked at FIVE channels, five, and ALL were showing a commercial. THIS, network folks, is why you have the lowest viewership EVER, in the HISTORY of TV!

I always thought HBO was for fancy people who were rich. (My family has always had odd ideas about what constitutes being rich. My mother always thought glass measuring cups were only for rich people. When my Uncle Leo first started dating my aunt, he thought we were rich because we had grass. Sad.)

Anyway, in a nutshell, which I am so good at placing things in, I like me the HBO. Can you tell?

Oh, and I wanted to tell you one other thing. It happened again: I got an Evite to someone's birthday party. Unfortunately it was being held at a public place, and there was an admission fee. I am trying to be vague in case the inviter reads this. It was not the invitation you sent me, Jen from the legal division at work!

I hemmed and I hawed. That stupid Evite sat in my inbox, mocking me, for days. Finally I lied. I chose "no" and then wrote, "I have a wedding!" which technically is true. I have a wedding, it's just a week before the party.

I am telling you, I cannot think of an honest way to get out of these things. It is so self-centered to assume everyone remembers our little experiment. And you KNOW they are going to say "I'll pay your way in!" and I cannot do that over and over again. That is not a non-spending experiment, it is a mooching experiment. So the only thing I can think of is to lie.

And yes, I am aware that "no" is a full sentence; I don't have to give a reason for saying no. But if someone did that to me I would assume it was because they don't like me. Wouldn't you? Be honest.

As per usual, it is seventeen seconds until I have to leave for work and I haven't showered yet. I have been trying to do three-minute showers, because renowned Africa expert Jennifer Aniston says the water used in the typical American shower is all the water a family in Africa uses all day.