Friday, April 27, 2007

It's a mad mad mad mad wife

Oh, I'm mad. Mad. So mad at Marvin Gardens I could spit. Which is feminine.

I said to Marvin Gardens, who I am mad at, that I was going to blog about this. He said, as he always says, "You can do whatever you want!" Wow. Really? Thanks. Before this, I thought I wasn't allowed to make eye contact with you and that I had to walk three paces behind you at all times. But it turns out I can do whatever I want?

Here is how Marvin G. and I save the money we SUPPOSEDLY haven't spent. As soon as I get paid, I put $500 in savings, then at the end of the pay period, I add whatever else is left over. Marvin Gardens just waits till the end of the pay period to put all of his leftover money in savings.

So, he gets paid on Monday. There is nothing but a SPEND-FREE weekend between now and Monday. So I said, "How much are you putting into savings?" and he said, "Nothing."

Now, here is what you must know about MG. He tends to give you the completely dramatic, negative answer first. We were friends for years before we got romantically involved (it is a whole story, but we dated in college, were friends who never saw each other for 10 years, then we did see each other and now we have been married 9 years. Which were happy years, until today), and when we were friends I would sometimes ask, "Are you dating anyone?" "No," he would say. "There is no one. No one at all." Now, Marvin Gardens is really cute. I find it hard to believe that he dated NO ONE in the 10 years we were apart. But "no one" is a Marvin Gardens answer. So when he said he was putting nothing in savings, I took it to mean $400. I speak Marvin Gardens, and that is a literal interpretation of "no money" in MG speak.

But no. He meant he had NO MONEY to save this time. NONE. I asked if we could go into his bank account online, as I could not believe there was nothing left. So we logged on, and he withdrew A HUNDRED DOLLARS on 4/16, a HUNDRED MORE DOLLARS on 4/20, and A HUNDRED MOOOORRREEE DOLLARS on 4/24!

You know how it is more dramatic to speak softly when you are angry, as it has a more powerful impact? I am not that person. I am more of a shrieking fishwife type. "WHY DID YOU WITHDRAW THIS MONEY? WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS, NONE OF WHICH YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WITHDRAW, IN EIGHT DAYS?"

Sadly, I have rambled on and I need to leave for work. I told Marvin he could log on to the comments and defend himself. I am going to be driving and cursing now.

10 comments:

Marv G. said...

When I think about those nights in Montreal
I get the sweet thoughts of you and me
Memories of love above the city lights
Oh, I've tried so hard to take it
But in all my heart won't make it

I just wanna stop
And tell you what I feel about you, babe
I just wanna stop
I never wanna live without you, babe
I just gotta stop
for your love

(For your love)
For your love
(For your love)

When I think about the way the world must turn
(The world must turn)
I get the saddest thoughts for you and me (you and me)
Memories of life's in times go on and on
Oh, I try hard to forget it
But I know my mind won't let it

I just wanna stop
And tell you what I feel about you, babe
I just wanna stop
The world ain't bright without you, babe
I just gotta stop
for your love

[Instrumental Interlude]

Oh, I try so hard to take it
But I know my heart won't make it
I just wanna stop
And tell you what I feel about you, babe
I just wanna stop
The world ain't bright without you, babe
I just wanna stop
For your love

Stop, oh-oh-ooooh
I just wanna stop, oh-oh-ooooh
I just wanna stop
And tell you what I feel about you, babe

June Cutoff Cash said...

We never went to Montreal. Is that what you spent $300 on? Anyway, it's "sweetest" thoughts, not sweet thoughts.

Lisa said...

I can only assume that he is using the money to buy me a very nice birthday present.

Or maybe you should go around the house and count the guitars.

sabrina duncan said...

Wouldn't you be really embarrassed if he were squirreling (a word??) it away to buy YOU a birthday present, Ms. Cash? Although that is a lot in a few days. Marvin actually spends more quickly than me & Bosley! (maybe)

And speaking of spending, Kelly and I will be on separate sandy capers next week. Gotta bust those criminals both east and west!

i'm not lisa said...

Maybe MG had to buy gas? Maybe MG is making you a giant gift basket with some fancy shampoo,conditioner, and lipstick in it?

What the heck song are those lyrics from?

Hmmm....$300 buckaroos??? Maybe he bought a BOSE IPOD speaker deal? That is what I would do if I had $300.00. And...you've said before that MG and I were alike in that music/I want every CD and guitar kind of way.

June Cutoff Cash said...

I'm not Lisa, I do not know what more I can tell you about said song, as EVERY WORD is here for you. Call me and I will sing it for you. That'll be pretty.

Kelly Garrett said...

This does sound fishy, June, and you are right to be a bit sandy about it. If you like, Sabrina and I will surveil Marvin Gardens upon our return from our own sandy adventures.

i'm not lisa said...

Yes. I read the lyrics but the tune I can not muster in my mind. Prepare to do some singing.

Anonymous said...

Did Marvin print that song because it is one of the ones you hate to have floating around in your mind and you can't get rid of it? It seems like that to me.

noneemac said...

Obvious: Gino Vanelli, babes!