Thursday, April 19, 2007

Donger Need Food

There was something I purchased on Sunday, but I hesitated to tell you about it. The reason I hesitated is not because I am so much ashamed of spending, but because it is such a girl thing.

I joined Weight Watchers.

Folks, I was FAT, and I do not mean phat, in some cool way. You know how there are those different body types? The pear shape, the apple? I was a muffin top, all the way.

But, complaining about my weight, and then going on a diet, I mean, how stereotypically female was that to blog about? Could I be more of a Cathy comic right now? Maybe next I'll talk about how much I love chocolate.

Which I actually don't. I mean, it's okay, but that whole chocolate thing some women have where they get glazed over and lose all control like they're at a Tom Jones concert? Yeah, not so much my reaction to chocolate.

I kept thinking that it was ridiculous to pay money in order to eat less. Just eat less, I'd tell myself. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and do not look at your cankles as you do it (cankles: where your ankles and your calves look like all the same thing).

Finally, I couldn't stand it and I paid my $16.95 for a month of Weight Watchers online. I have stuck with it pretty well, even when they bought us Starbucks at work, even when they bought us Mexican food at work, even when they served us an elaborate breakfast at work, and even when I got taken out for barbecue today at work.

Are you sensing a pattern, suddenly?

I am pleased to say that I weighed myself yesterday -- which you are not supposed to do until a whole week has passed, but who does Weight Watchers think they are, The Shadow? Tune in next week to see if you're thin -- and I have already lost four pounds. Do not write me and tell me that's unhealthy. The first week you lose a lot, cause your body is saying "Where is the Starbucks and the Mexican food and the barbecue usually brought to you by your workplace?" and then it calms down and says "She must have quit that job. Darn." and you only lose one or two pounds a week.

That is all my diet/spending news. Now if only that Irving would stop watching sports.

Oh, and did you notice we are now up to over $11,000 in savings?


Kelly Garrett said...

Just remember no quiche on a diet, and by the way, "you don't spell it, son, you eat it."

sabrina duncan said...

Almost anything at Starbucks will blow your points for the day. Back away from office food! It's bad news bears.

Marvin Gardens said...

How come you only get comments from Charlie's Angels? Shouldn't they be out solving crimes or something?

i'm not lisa I am a squishy jellyfish said...

I am not a Charlie's Angel but I met one...and her dogs. Are you kidding me? Would I ever tell you that it is unhealthy to lose 4 pounds in a week??!!!! I think that is SUPER DUPER! Can I lose 4 pounds in a day????? Where can sign up??? If you get a pal to join, do you get bonus points or something? I am signing up. I am a muffin top. What happened??? I turned 40 and my butt and gut are the same size??? People can't tell if I am walking into a room backwards or not.

June Cutoff Cash said...

They call that a front butt, I'm not Lisa I'm a Squishy Jellyfish. I am thriled there is a name for my condition.

i'm not lisa said...


I have a front butt and a muffin top.

I like your cankles.... How do you know these things?

dcrmom said...

Yall are CUH-racking me up. Muffin top, front butt, cankles. LMAO!!!!! I hate dieting. But I'm turning 35 this summer, yeah, I know, I'm a spring chicken, but my metabolism coming to a screeching halt, and I'm learning that the only way to maintain my weight is to diet CONSTANTLY. Everyone always says "It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle." But I'm here to tell you, it's gotta but both. A dieting lifestyle. SUCKS.

Kelly Garrett said...

It's amazing the technological advances since 1976, Marvin Gardens. We can read June's blog from the field while drop-kicking a jewel theif, intercepting an international drug cartel's delivery, annoying the police with our sueperior intellect, cloths, and hair, or whatever current caper is striking Charlie's fancy.

Emily said...

I can't wait to find out how WW online worked for you. It's much more expensive to go to their location but gosh, I have to do something about this fatness. By the way, a friend of mine nicknamed her front butt BIF (butt in front).