It's a mad mad mad mad wife

Oh, I'm mad. Mad. So mad at Marvin Gardens I could spit. Which is feminine.

I said to Marvin Gardens, who I am mad at, that I was going to blog about this. He said, as he always says, "You can do whatever you want!" Wow. Really? Thanks. Before this, I thought I wasn't allowed to make eye contact with you and that I had to walk three paces behind you at all times. But it turns out I can do whatever I want?

Here is how Marvin G. and I save the money we SUPPOSEDLY haven't spent. As soon as I get paid, I put $500 in savings, then at the end of the pay period, I add whatever else is left over. Marvin Gardens just waits till the end of the pay period to put all of his leftover money in savings.

So, he gets paid on Monday. There is nothing but a SPEND-FREE weekend between now and Monday. So I said, "How much are you putting into savings?" and he said, "Nothing."

Now, here is what you must know about MG. He tends to give you the completely dramatic, negative answer first. We were friends for years before we got romantically involved (it is a whole story, but we dated in college, were friends who never saw each other for 10 years, then we did see each other and now we have been married 9 years. Which were happy years, until today), and when we were friends I would sometimes ask, "Are you dating anyone?" "No," he would say. "There is no one. No one at all." Now, Marvin Gardens is really cute. I find it hard to believe that he dated NO ONE in the 10 years we were apart. But "no one" is a Marvin Gardens answer. So when he said he was putting nothing in savings, I took it to mean $400. I speak Marvin Gardens, and that is a literal interpretation of "no money" in MG speak.

But no. He meant he had NO MONEY to save this time. NONE. I asked if we could go into his bank account online, as I could not believe there was nothing left. So we logged on, and he withdrew A HUNDRED DOLLARS on 4/16, a HUNDRED MORE DOLLARS on 4/20, and A HUNDRED MOOOORRREEE DOLLARS on 4/24!

You know how it is more dramatic to speak softly when you are angry, as it has a more powerful impact? I am not that person. I am more of a shrieking fishwife type. "WHY DID YOU WITHDRAW THIS MONEY? WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS, NONE OF WHICH YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WITHDRAW, IN EIGHT DAYS?"

Sadly, I have rambled on and I need to leave for work. I told Marvin he could log on to the comments and defend himself. I am going to be driving and cursing now.